Need to resolve problems? nonviolent communication can stop the misunderstanding

Communication or language skill is the only way to differentiate humans from animals, hence, words hold superpower, while, words can also hurt seamlessly. Normally, the same word can means differently in different regions or contexts, and we all experienced it somehow. If you interpret some words in the wrong way, then it will lead to an awful result. Nonviolent communication is the answer to those unwanted results during the interaction. Nonviolent Communication (abbreviated NVC, also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication) is an approach to nonviolent living developed by Marshall Rosenberg beginning in the 1960s. At its heart is a belief all human beings have the capacity for compassion and empathy. We only resort to violence or behavior harmful to others when we do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting their needs, according to Wikipedia.

I get to know NVC when I was in SINA, and it’s part of our training to learn and practice NVC. For me, NVC emphasizes facts instead of feeling, which I believe only works in certain situations. Anyway, it is necessary to know NVC and apply it to appropriate areas. So let me define the fact part of NVC first, NVC believes that when we only saying facts without feeling in between, then it will not arise any response negatively. For example, when the kid fails on his math exam, then there’s the difference between saying ‘I feel disappointed for you failing the exam’ and ‘you failed the math exam’, by the parents. The former one is full of upset feelings while the latter one is just a fact, so when we use fact expression, then there is no way to feel bad.

Based on the upper part, another essence of NVC is no judgment in the sentences. In our daily life, it is so easy to rise any judgments by only the look, accents, dress or others, and most of us will not aware of it until it happens to us. It is often be told in my professional area, while I still fall into judgment sometimes so easily. So I always feel that I am in a paradox, one way I have fallen into the judgment, but another way, my rationality drags me out of the prejudgment. But it will not always happen, I can also get too deep and unable to extricate myself, which is why we need to practice the NVC all the time, to form a habit of thinking and saying in a certain way.

Credit to EcceHomoZen

Communication is not easy, at least for me, and NVC is even harder. NVC is all about facts and empathy as I mentioned above, which is also the key to Human-centered design. Those people are close to us, the family, partners, friends are the ones who get hurt by our words mostly, so stop the violent communication and embrace nonviolent communication.

This article was edited by the original author without their consent, and should not be reproduced.

By Social Innovation Insight

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