When I was young, I always think that the feedback was poisonous and I did not really take them into consideration at all, so I always do what I want to and ignoring other’s opinions. Even now I still have that “spirit”, but the difference is I understand the importance of feedback and reflect on feedback to improve my actions. We live in the society and we are the community species, so each action or word from us is being screened by others, inevitably, we receive feedback from others and act accordingly.
Feedback is all about good indeed, it encourages you to do better, it challenges your own thinking to avoid the stereotype, and it also gives you a way to see your potential. Some people saying that feedback is neither good or bad, it stays neutral in its position. But I don’t think its a positive attitude towards feedback. You may not agree with me, but this is just my own way of thinking.
So what is feedback? Normally, it is a conversation that reflects on you or your behaviors. It may be based on the evaluation or observation of you. In our Chinese saying that “旁观者清”, which means that the third party can see things clearer than the participants. That’s why most companies will invite the third party to do evaluation or analysis on them instead of their own staff. In our daily life, most of us, when doing or plan things, we will fall into the original idea so much, that stops us to identify any risks or unreasonable factors inside, and this is the time when we need intervein to give any suggestions or help us to make decisions.
There is another feedback that is common, which is the expression or body language of others. For example, people frown or always looking at their phones when you talking to them, this is the immediate response or feedback, and in return, it may influence the talkers.We may guess what people trying to express based on their immediate feedback, and that feedback may upset you at that time. You can feel bad for certain feedback, but the important thing is the actions afterward, you may rephrase your content to adjust or turns out that you are simply talking to a wrong guy.
So how to integrate feedback into your work or life. During the conversation of asking feedback, first one is to carefully listen to people without disturbance, and do not hurry for an explanation for yourself even it is not true, which not only shows the basic respect, but also the moral. Second is to ask more when you do not understand the meaning or the place where you feel confused, and this may allow you to build a trust relationship with others. The last one is the invitation, which means you invite people to give you more feedback after your update, this not only keeps a good relationship but also helps you to improve better.
Feedback is also about giving others productive feedback not only receiving from others. I remember when I was in Uganda, there was a project presentation asking for feedback, and some said it was good, then our mentor said you should tell more what is good about, otherwise, no one understands what is good. So there are some tips when giving feedback as well. Feedback should be soft, people more likely to receive soft feedback than hard ones, using more soft words to make them feel safe. Be specific, like the example I showed you that feedback should be more specific to make people understand easily. Immediate feedback, feedback should be immediate and in time, that way, the brain works best and it shows your full engagement as well.
We should promote the true feedback based on a trustworthy relationship to improve the productivity in the workplace, no matter which position you are, even its a kid giving you feedback, it still worth the attention from you. Our Chinese ancestor said that “三人行，必有我师焉”, which means that there must be one person can be my teacher out of three-person. seeking feedback around and you can learn more.
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